I've never really thought that my looks were appealing to the opposite sex, but apparently I have some features that are. The thing I don't really like is that if someone thinks I have a pretty face, most of the time they don't take the time to get to know my personality or they just go on with their lives. It sucks because it makes me second guess myself on every aspect of my looks. It's like, is there something wrong with my face? or do I look fat today? or some other dumb shit that shouldn't matter.
Maybe I'm just insecure about myself more than others, but it seems like other girls don't have the same feelings as I do. It's depressing because it makes me seem more damaged than I already am. I'm probably wrong about this, but that's the way it seems to me. I feel as if I have to try so much harder than other girls and don't get the same gratification as they do. I really don't know what's wrong with me. Sometimes it seems that guys are attracted to me one week, but then the next it's like I don't exist or that I have an extra arm or something growing out of my neck.
I guess I'll just have to go through the motions and deal with whatever happens in my currently nonexistent love life.
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