Day 20

So I'm going revert back to my usual depressing self diagnosing of my problems since I have a powercord again. Let's see, today me thinks I'm going to talk about my sociopathic tendencies.

By my definition, a sociopath is someone who fakes empathy and does not have regard to others' feelings. I'm not like this all the time, but sometimes I just don't give a fuck about other people. I think it's even come to the point where I hate people in general. I am slightly misanthropic also. The root of my misanthropy is the fact that I have a lot of pride; basically, I feel that most of the human species is beneath me. This is a huge problem in itself. I don't know why I am like this, but that's the way I am.

I truly believe that about 30% of the population is full of idiots. I have no time for people beneath my intelligence level, as I have said many times before. In order to be considered a sociopath, you have to have antisocial personality disorder. People with this disorder are very manipulative and care not for the rights of others. I do share some traits with someone who has the disorder such as I don't really care about the feelings of other people or don't know why they feel a certain way when I don't, and I am very narcissistic. It really bothers me that I can't sympathize with a lot of people and that I have to fake feelings.

I have no idea what is wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it. I really don't think that there is some magic cure for me. I fear that I will have to deal with all of my problems my whole life and that scares the shit out of me. Because one day I'm just going to snap mentally and be placed in some mental hospital somewhere.