Why...

I'm so tired.
Tired of what, you may ask?
Tired of people, tired of places, tired of uncertainty, just tired of it all.
The only thing that I look forward to is college.

Because this is my only chance to change my life.
I need this change so bad, it's killing me slowly.
I HATE my life right now; learning things that one shouldn't know can change a person's perception of others.

I have to completely overhaul my whole life. Everything.

Why is it that my whole life seemed to collapse on itself this past year?
I don't understand how some people can live in one place for so long.
Maybe I'm the weird one who has to have change every so often. Maybe other people enjoy where they live and the surroundings. I envy those people.

Is it too much to ask for a normal life?
Why should I be exposed to things I don't like or need to see?
I shouldn't have to hate going into my own fucking house after a certain hour, or worry about my brother who I haven't seen in 2 days.

Why does childhood have to end?
Why does life have to get more complicated by the second?
I have a feeling that this question will never be answered.

Woe...

So, right now I'm on a trip with a friend in Charlotte.
I should be trying to sleep, but I can only think about how much I miss my boyfriend.
Is there something wrong with me?
Maybe.

Sometimes I get this yearning feeling for him.
Kinda weird, but it happens.
I guess our relationship is based on love and not lust or anything.

So very lovely.

Rabble, Rabble...

So, the other night I came home around 6:30 in the morning after a great night hanging out with my boyfriend.
My dad asked me if I had come in at 6 and I said yes.
I went to work, as usual, and came home during my break to get some food from my house, and my mom FUCKING SCOLDS ME FOR COMING HOME AT 6:30.

She was all like, "you have a curfew and call when you aren't going to be home by the curfew, yadda yadda yadda."
In my head I was like, "Are you fucking serious?"
This whole situation pissed me off totally.

First off, she never told me or tells me when to be home. I have to call her and ask.
Secondly, my brother doesn't even come home sometimes, and she scolds me for coming in the house at 6:30?! WHAT THE MOTHERFUCKING HELL IS THAT BULLSHIT! He NEVER gets in trouble for it.
Thirdly, I am not a child. My parents treat me as if I'm a 7 year old and need to be protected. I swear that they want me to be sheltered and stay here for the rest of my life.

Sometimes I really hate living in my house. I want to be able to do what I want, and stay out as long as I want.
I am so fucking tired of being chastised for doing the exact same thing my brother does without scolding.
Currently, I have not seen my brother in 3 days and have they said anything about it or tried to contact him?
NOPE.


I rest my motherfucking case.