So this should technically be like day thirty something, but I haven't blogged in a few days. Mostly because I haven't been remembering or have had access to a computer until like 5 o'clock.
But hopefully now I can get back to my blogging once a day thing. Next week in spring break so I should have some time to do all my blogging once a day and all that.
That's really all I have to say, so yeah.
01 March 2010
25 February 2010
Day 24
I'm going to watch 28 Days Later right now.
I just wanted to make sure that I blogged before midnight.
TOODALOO!
I just wanted to make sure that I blogged before midnight.
TOODALOO!
24 February 2010
Day 23
Co-dependent people are annoying. I don't think someone over the age of 10 should depend on someone else to do everything for them. I mean, there are a few aspects that someone can need help with, but in general a person should not have to be dependent.
Maybe I'm weird for thinking this way, but I've been independent for the bulk of my life and I can't imagine living my life any other way. Under no circumstance do I think that I should have to fully depend on someone else. I've past that point in my life and don't plan on going back any time soon.
This was really short because I'm not in the mood to write something long and emotionally draining.
Maybe I'm weird for thinking this way, but I've been independent for the bulk of my life and I can't imagine living my life any other way. Under no circumstance do I think that I should have to fully depend on someone else. I've past that point in my life and don't plan on going back any time soon.
This was really short because I'm not in the mood to write something long and emotionally draining.
23 February 2010
Day 22
So I was talking to one of my friends on the phone and he made me realize something about myself; I don't really know how to take compliments well.
To me, it's strange for a guy to say that I'm cute or something because it doesn't happen often. The only people who have consistently said that I was cute are my family, but I don't think that counts. I just don't get compliments about my looks often so it makes me slightly uncomfortable. Not necessarily a bad uncomfortable, just awkward uncomfortable.
I think that the last time someone told me that I was cute was on the bus in the 6th grade. I remember I was wearing a pink shirt and I'm pretty sure that it was near Valentine's Day because I had won a bear or something from one of my teachers. I can't remember what we were talking about, but I recall him saying that I was cute. I almost had a damn heart attack. No one had ever called me cute before, much less a BOY. Thinking back on it now, I was so retarded.
I guess as I'm getting older, more men are noticing me. Which is good, I guess. As much as I want to be noticed, I enjoy a certain amount of obscurity. I know that I can't have it both ways, so I'll have to find a balance of the two.
To me, it's strange for a guy to say that I'm cute or something because it doesn't happen often. The only people who have consistently said that I was cute are my family, but I don't think that counts. I just don't get compliments about my looks often so it makes me slightly uncomfortable. Not necessarily a bad uncomfortable, just awkward uncomfortable.
I think that the last time someone told me that I was cute was on the bus in the 6th grade. I remember I was wearing a pink shirt and I'm pretty sure that it was near Valentine's Day because I had won a bear or something from one of my teachers. I can't remember what we were talking about, but I recall him saying that I was cute. I almost had a damn heart attack. No one had ever called me cute before, much less a BOY. Thinking back on it now, I was so retarded.
I guess as I'm getting older, more men are noticing me. Which is good, I guess. As much as I want to be noticed, I enjoy a certain amount of obscurity. I know that I can't have it both ways, so I'll have to find a balance of the two.
22 February 2010
Day 21
I've never really thought that my looks were appealing to the opposite sex, but apparently I have some features that are. The thing I don't really like is that if someone thinks I have a pretty face, most of the time they don't take the time to get to know my personality or they just go on with their lives. It sucks because it makes me second guess myself on every aspect of my looks. It's like, is there something wrong with my face? or do I look fat today? or some other dumb shit that shouldn't matter.
Maybe I'm just insecure about myself more than others, but it seems like other girls don't have the same feelings as I do. It's depressing because it makes me seem more damaged than I already am. I'm probably wrong about this, but that's the way it seems to me. I feel as if I have to try so much harder than other girls and don't get the same gratification as they do. I really don't know what's wrong with me. Sometimes it seems that guys are attracted to me one week, but then the next it's like I don't exist or that I have an extra arm or something growing out of my neck.
I guess I'll just have to go through the motions and deal with whatever happens in my currently nonexistent love life.
Maybe I'm just insecure about myself more than others, but it seems like other girls don't have the same feelings as I do. It's depressing because it makes me seem more damaged than I already am. I'm probably wrong about this, but that's the way it seems to me. I feel as if I have to try so much harder than other girls and don't get the same gratification as they do. I really don't know what's wrong with me. Sometimes it seems that guys are attracted to me one week, but then the next it's like I don't exist or that I have an extra arm or something growing out of my neck.
I guess I'll just have to go through the motions and deal with whatever happens in my currently nonexistent love life.
21 February 2010
Day 20
So I'm going revert back to my usual depressing self diagnosing of my problems since I have a powercord again. Let's see, today me thinks I'm going to talk about my sociopathic tendencies.
By my definition, a sociopath is someone who fakes empathy and does not have regard to others' feelings. I'm not like this all the time, but sometimes I just don't give a fuck about other people. I think it's even come to the point where I hate people in general. I am slightly misanthropic also. The root of my misanthropy is the fact that I have a lot of pride; basically, I feel that most of the human species is beneath me. This is a huge problem in itself. I don't know why I am like this, but that's the way I am.
I truly believe that about 30% of the population is full of idiots. I have no time for people beneath my intelligence level, as I have said many times before. In order to be considered a sociopath, you have to have antisocial personality disorder. People with this disorder are very manipulative and care not for the rights of others. I do share some traits with someone who has the disorder such as I don't really care about the feelings of other people or don't know why they feel a certain way when I don't, and I am very narcissistic. It really bothers me that I can't sympathize with a lot of people and that I have to fake feelings.
I have no idea what is wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it. I really don't think that there is some magic cure for me. I fear that I will have to deal with all of my problems my whole life and that scares the shit out of me. Because one day I'm just going to snap mentally and be placed in some mental hospital somewhere.
By my definition, a sociopath is someone who fakes empathy and does not have regard to others' feelings. I'm not like this all the time, but sometimes I just don't give a fuck about other people. I think it's even come to the point where I hate people in general. I am slightly misanthropic also. The root of my misanthropy is the fact that I have a lot of pride; basically, I feel that most of the human species is beneath me. This is a huge problem in itself. I don't know why I am like this, but that's the way I am.
I truly believe that about 30% of the population is full of idiots. I have no time for people beneath my intelligence level, as I have said many times before. In order to be considered a sociopath, you have to have antisocial personality disorder. People with this disorder are very manipulative and care not for the rights of others. I do share some traits with someone who has the disorder such as I don't really care about the feelings of other people or don't know why they feel a certain way when I don't, and I am very narcissistic. It really bothers me that I can't sympathize with a lot of people and that I have to fake feelings.
I have no idea what is wrong with me and I don't know how to fix it. I really don't think that there is some magic cure for me. I fear that I will have to deal with all of my problems my whole life and that scares the shit out of me. Because one day I'm just going to snap mentally and be placed in some mental hospital somewhere.
Day 19
I'm really no good at blogging on the specific day anymore. I just forget a lot to do things. Oh well.
Nothing really important or mind blowing has happened, except that the Americans are kicking ass at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics. Like seriously, we are handing the competition their asses when it comes to medal counts. The only thing that pisses me off is the fact that so many people are against Apolo Ohno for speed skating. I mean the guy is now considered the most decorated winter Olympian, so he's kinda good. People bitch and moan that he doesn't have like 5 gold medals, but they are only considering medal counts jerkoffs. I might be a little biased, but I can't deny that he is a good skater and deserves the praise for his winnings. Bitches just don't know how to be supportive of their own country's athletes. Bastards.
Other than my ranting about the Olympics, the day has been good. Despite the fact that I couldn't find any Miyuzaki movies at Ed McKay's, I had a delightful day. Hopefully the drive back to Charlotte will be good. I bet it will be.
Nothing really important or mind blowing has happened, except that the Americans are kicking ass at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics. Like seriously, we are handing the competition their asses when it comes to medal counts. The only thing that pisses me off is the fact that so many people are against Apolo Ohno for speed skating. I mean the guy is now considered the most decorated winter Olympian, so he's kinda good. People bitch and moan that he doesn't have like 5 gold medals, but they are only considering medal counts jerkoffs. I might be a little biased, but I can't deny that he is a good skater and deserves the praise for his winnings. Bitches just don't know how to be supportive of their own country's athletes. Bastards.
Other than my ranting about the Olympics, the day has been good. Despite the fact that I couldn't find any Miyuzaki movies at Ed McKay's, I had a delightful day. Hopefully the drive back to Charlotte will be good. I bet it will be.
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